


THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE KIDNAPPED CHRISTMAS TREE

by tpena19



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Tree, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tpena19/pseuds/tpena19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is evidence of tomfoolery and mischievous tricks about this Holiday season in Four Corners and Buck is determined to get to the bottom of things. The days are looking to get mighty interesting for a few of our local peacekeepers. It's all in good fun, mostly. Or, well, it starts that way anyways...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Conundrum

**Author's Note:**

> I have not forgotten my other stories, but this one has been on my computer for a while and I thought I'd start posting it now.

Buck awoke slowly that morning, first feeling the soft bedding underneath him and then smelling the sweet perfume of his latest bed partner. Gradually he blinked his eyes open and stared at the roof above his head for a while, taking note of what his various senses were telling him. Before too long, a huge grin had spread across his face. He felt refreshed, relaxed and slightly sore, but in the best of ways; it had been a good night. 

He was in such an exceptionally sunny mood that he should have anticipated that something was destined to happen to ruin his blissful afterglow. Instead, he happily continued on with his pleasant morning in ignorance of just how wrong his day was going to go. 

As he lay in bed recalling just how much fun he’d had the previous night, the lump under the blankets next to him moved. It seemed his lady friend was waking up as well. He immediately went about showing her, once again, exactly why he never had to pay for female company. After ensuring that they both had a damn good reason to smile that morning, Buck rose for the day, stretching out well used muscles as he moved over to his washbasin to clean up before getting dressed for the day. 

His female companion paused on her way out of the bed to let out a moan of appreciation, both for the nice view of his naked backside and also for the way this latest demonstration of his talents had left her feeling (though after the night before she hadn’t needed any more convincing of his sex appeal, not that she’s complaining about the morning’s lovely repeat showing). After pausing a moment to leer at the fine rear end in front of her, she completed her move to leave the bed and join him at the water. It was after she’d finished washing and had started searching out her scattered clothing to dress that she noticed something was off. 

“Something’s different.” the buxom brunette said with a frown as she slowly stood after crawling out from under the bed where she’d located her other stocking.

“What do ya’ mean, darlin’?” Buck asked, turning his head towards her as he started to pull on his pants.

“Wasn’t there a tree there last night?” she gestured to the far corner with one hand while using the other to adjust her skirt. “ I think I remember decorating it with my underclothes last night.”

Buck glanced at the empty corner and blinked in shock. “…well, shit.”

“So there was a tree, I thought the room seemed a little less cheery. Where did it go?” She asked as she moved to collect her blouse from the back of the only chair in the room.

“Don’t know. Must’ve been stolen.” the usually gregarious cowboy replied distractedly as he took a long suspicious look around the room, as if expecting the missing tree to pop out of the tiny closet and yell ‘boo’.

“While we were in the room?” his companion paused in the act of buttoning up to raise a brow at the mustached man. The look went from sarcastic to appreciative as she noticed he was still without a shirt. “Without waking us up?” 

He nodded looking unwillingly impressed along with his previous annoyed, then his look turned thoughtful, and yet he still made no move to put on his shirt. “Must have been a very good thief.”

“One who steals Christmas trees?” she questioned in confusion as she moved close enough to take advantage of the exposed chest before her to run her hands over his large muscles as she received a goodbye kiss.

“Guess he’s just got no Christmas spirit, darlin’, and I know just the miser to question about it, too.”


	2. A Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck has a suspect in mind, but maybe it's a bit early in the morning to be tackling a touchy Southerner.

“Where is it?"

"And good morning to you too, Mr. Wilmington. And how are you this fine day? Would you care to join me for a morning coffee?"

"No. And I'll be overjoyed - once I find it! Now, where, the hell, is it?"

"Where is what, Bucklin?"

"Don't act all innocent with me, Standish."

“I am not acting, for once. I have no idea to what you are referring, Buck."

"Uh-huh, sure you don't, like I believe that. So, how'd you do it? I was in the room the whole night!"

"Please, stop. I have no wish to hear about the nocturnal bedroom exploits of whichever young woman tickled your fancy yesterday."

"Yeah, she can’t figure out how you done it either. Might even have been a bit impressed. Just a bit mind, for how long you must’ve been planning this here heist and the care you took. Can’t imagine it was easy to take, not without waking us up that is."

"If you are referring to the measly pile of cash I won off of you last evening at the poker table, I would hardly call that a heist - though it was rather easy to take."

"What? No, that's not what I'm talking abo- what do you mean it was easy to take? I've been doing better you said. I’ve been working hard on my tells and everything!” 

"Yes, well, my advice? Work even harder."

"And how can I do that when you won’t even let me know all the tells that I need to work on?”

“A true poker master knows his own weaknesses, all his weaknesses, and how best to work around them or to cover them up. If I explain all your mistakes to you, not only will it take up all of my leisure time, but you’d never really earn the respect due you from other players for mastering yourself. Really, I’m doing you a favor, my friend.”

“Telling me I’m no good, but not telling me how to get better, that’s a favor?”

“I’ve explained all the reasoning to you before, Bucklin, you simply won’t listen. You refuse to see the truth that’s right in front of your eyes. However, I suppose I could offer my assistance, that is if you don’t want to put in the hard work, or actually earn the title -”

“Oh, for...alright, alright! No need to get snippy, I’ll keep on working at it. But that's not what I'm here about anyway. I want to know how you did it! And where the damn thing is!"

"Mr. Wilmington, raising your voice in such a manner is uncouth and will gain you nothing. Especially since I still have no idea of what you are speaking of."

“You’re sure? No fooling? And I was so sure it was you, too. Ain’t no one else near as sneaky as you.”

“Ah, I begin to understand. Sneaky is a bad thing, until you and your bad-tempered leader need it to come up with a brilliant plan to rescue some widow and her hundred orphaned children. Do go on, blame the conman, of course it must be him whenever there’s a problem. Never mind that he’s just sitting there serenely enjoying his morning repast when he’s accosted by a -” 

“Whoa there, Hoss! Take it easy. Don't go getting into a snit, I believe you. Guess, it must be J.D. then.”

“Buck? Buck! Running from an argument does not mean that you win it by default, you ignoramus.”


	3. Collaboration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Buck should have probably spent a little more time assessing the situation first, maybe then he’d have noticed a few things.

“Sounds like Bucklin’s feeling a might ornery this morning.”

“Yes, a most welcome change to all that phony Christmas cheer he’s been doling out lately though. And just where did you disappear to? You saw him coming didn’t you?”

“Ain’t phony to him. Course that don’t mean it don’t get a tad annoying. Think Chris is ‘bout ready to shoot him. And I was just getting me a coffee.”

“Vin, you already had a coffee.”

“Drank it all, didn’t I. Needed another.”

“A likely story. I think you just wanted to avoid the impending conversation.”

“Yer the bamboozle master, not me.”

“I am entirely uncertain as to whether that was an insult or not, Tanner”

“Just admiration, Ez. Think he’ll ever realize you never actually answered his questions?”

“I responded to his inquiries exactly as they were worded - ambiguously. I can’t help it if he never actually mentioned what was bothering him.”

“Man ought to know better than to challenge ya when he’s still half asleep.”

“True.”

“You didn’t tell him ‘bout his shirt.”

“I’m sure someone will eventually enlighten our dear Mr. Wilmington as to the reversed nature of his haberdashery. Since he decided to open our conversation with undue and unkind accusations I felt no desire to enlighten him myself.”

“Undue?”

“Yes, well, he had no plausible reason to accuse me. And no evidence that I was involved in any wrong doings, as you well know. He was simply pigeonholing me. Something I can do quite without.” 

“His compliments were a bit backhanded.”

“Something you would know nothing about, right, my friend?”

“A’ course not. Think he’ll ever find it?”

“Eventually. Someone in this tiny dustbowl is bound to enlighten our dear friend as to the current location of his precious conifer sooner or later. After all, how often does one find such a tree inside a bank vault?”

“Not often I’d think.”

“Indeed. You know the campaign behind this case of thievery as well as I do, comrade, so why the redundant questioning?”

“The man ain’t actually stupid. When he finds it there Bucklin’ll know it was you who took it.”

“He will. It can hardly be considered proper payback if the mark doesn’t eventually find out who is behind the case of revenge. You knew this and agreed, don’t tell me you are having second thoughts now?”

“He was kind of sharp, is all. He’s usually only like that when he’s hiding how pissed he is. Ya might want to go to ground ‘til he cools off a bit. So’s things don’t get out of hand, Mr. Sneaky Conman.”

“Ah, you heard that too did you? You were hiding just inside the doorway weren’t you?”

“Weren’t hiding, told ya I was getting coffee. You two was a bit loud is all.”

“Sure we were.”

“Still think it’d be best if ya made yerself scarce for a while, Ez. Sides, ya’d give it all away if ya just sat here and laughed while Bucklin loses his mind.”

“I think you’re confusing me with yourself, but alright. Know this though, if I go down, I’m taking you with me, Vincent Tanner. This plot was your initial proposal after all, and I seem to recall a voice with a certain Texas twang cursing at pine needles last night.”

“ …there’s a right pretty spot I know, hidden way out in the hills, no one knows ‘bout it but me, not Buck - not even Larabee. It’s well provisioned and due for a visit.”

“By ‘well provisioned’ do you mean sheltered from the ridiculous cold and capable of great warmth? And also stocked with cuisine beyond mere beans? If so, I’d be delighted to join you for this visit.” 

“Right. Course, we’re gunna need a few more things, and you might wanna see about gettin’ some extra food. I sure could go for some of those fancy biscuits you make.”

“A sound plan. I shall gather our victuals, some proper liquor, and my saddlebags, whilst you see about assembling the other necessities. Shall we meet in the stable with our supplies, in about two hours?”

“Keep an eye out for Bucklin, and J.D. may not be too happy with us either after Buck gets done with him.”

“Don’t go soft on the boy now, just remember that berry pie incident last month and know that this is only just repayment.”

“True. See ya in a few.”


End file.
